This isnt happening, right?

I honestly cant remember the last time I hated myself so much.

Everything was fine at school. It was just a normal day, you know? But it all goes to crap by the time we get home and everyones gone to sleep. Mitsuru-senpai, Ikutsuki-san and I had been in the command room, watching Minato and Shokora from the monitors (yes, I know its creepy and I was totally against it, okay?), when Akihiko-senpai called in from somewhere outside.

I didnt even know he went anywhere! But apparently he was gone this entire time and was now leading some giant Shadow right to us?! Yeah. Im not even going into how much I wished I could have slapped him.

We rushed downstairs when Akihiko-senpai got back, but he seemed wounded. Mitsuru-senpai tried to heal him but it wasnt working so well. His ribs were broken.

Thats not even the half of it, either. Mitsuru-senpai then tells me to get Shokora and Minato up, and keep them safe. Just how was I supposed to do that?! Still... its not really my place to object to anything she tells me to do, so I run up there and wake them up. Both of them are alarmed and yet...  I feel like Im the one freaking out the most.

I take them downstairs first. Thats where everyone was, so I figured it might be safest. But when I take them toward the back door, something is slamming against it. Senpai contacts me and tells me that none of these things are the one Akihiko-senpai saw, so I might not be able to get Minato and Shokora out through the back. Amazing. I knew I had a bad feeling about today... why didnt I prepare for this or something? Not that Im sure how I could have...

The shadows kept crashing into the dorms walls. Shokora and I... we were so scared, but Minato somehow could just stand there and act like none of this scared him! How he did that was beyond me, but it was good to have a calm person with us. Part of me wonders if I would have been so lucid if not for him being there. He was so... stable? It helped some.

So I took them up the stairs, where the shadows began to follow us! We ran out the door at the top of the dorm, locking ourselves onto the rooftop and hopefully keeping the shadows away from us. It looked safe up there so I assumed it might be...

But then some really big shadow with a ton of arms and swords and... I dont even know appeared over the ledge of the roof and came towards us. And Im the only one with an evoker here and I cant use it! Im such great help right? Ugh whatismylife.

I tried to shoot it again, but the shadow slapped it away from me. One of its swords cut through my wrist and I was knocked back. Everything was kinda blurry after that... I mean, I heard a gunshot, Minato screaming... and then the shadow was gone. But I didnt know what happened until I looked up to see Minato passing out after beating more of the shadows. ...He beat the shadows. He had a persona, a-and... more than that, he saved us. He saved me when I was supposed to keep him and Shokora safe. Shows how good I am at this sort of thing doesnt it?

Shokora was clearly more upset about this than I was. Not that I wasnt upset, because I was terrified, guilty, so many other things put together that I couldnt even recognize them all. But Shokora started crying over Minato as if he just died and...

I just dont know what to do anymore. If this boy died because of my failure, Im not sure Ill ever forgive myself.

Even today... he... wouldnt wake up. Shokora hardly slept last night. I hardly did, either. I couldnt with that on my mind, not after I messed up so much in trying to save them.

If you live through this, Minato, and you read this someday, Im sorry. Im... so sorry. Ive never hated myself more.